Thankful

I first want to start by saying thank you to Sir, for without him I wouldn't be here writing this today.

 

Four years ago, Sir found me and began the precarious task of pulling me out of the hole I had dug myself so deeply into. This goes for both life and BDSM, for both of those I had spiralled so far down this particular rabbit hole that I couldn't climb out on my own. In life, I was stuck in a rut of being a goody two shoes, doing what everyone expected me to do no matter how that made me feel. I was hiding myself away from the outside world, buried in studies that I only partly enjoyed, no job, relying solely on my mother to support me. When I met Sir, I did so in the most unthinkable way to meet someone online... After dark, in a small industrial estate on the side of the road! I look back now and think to myself how foolish I was and how so very different that night could have been had it not been Sir I was meeting.

 

As far as BDSM goes, I had such a misconception of how it was all supposed to work. I had read stories and talked to people, educated myself online. But nothing had quite prepared me for the reality of a D/s relationship. The first few sessions we had together, Sir only worked on my confidence and self-acceptance. He is the one and only reason that I am as confident as I am today. I wouldn't say I'm outgoing, at all, but I have no worries about stripping down in front of Sir and parading around the house in leather and lace! I can honestly say that its only because of Sir that I have found my confidence and self-esteem.  For that alone, I am so thankful.

 

Now I had this crazy idea that a D/s relationship was all about contracts and rules and rituals... Which it is. But only little by little. I used to have this idea in my head of having a whole page full of rules that I would have to memorise, that Sir would be setting me tasks everyday and how I would be punished accordingly if I broke a rule or failed to complete a task. Sir has since opened my eyes to the realistic style of D/s relationships. Yes, I do have a few key rules but they are not written down for they are essentially based on the foundations of a relationship. My rules revolve around trust, honesty and respect. Nothing fancy, nothing complicated, no memorising required. I also have two daily tasks that Sir set for me not long before I earnt my collar. I do not get punished if I fail to do these tasks, but an explanation is required and it typically ends with Sir being disappointed in me if I do not have a valid reason. Which might I say, is the absolute worst feeling in the entire world. Many a time I have wished he would simply bend me over and flog me as punishment for my mistakes because then it would be over and done with.  The absolute worst punishment Sir could give me is to be upset with me and disappointed in me. To know I have let him down and then wallow in my own self-hate is more than enough punishment. Sir has shown me a whole other way of living within a D/s relationship and for that I am also thankful. Because without that guidance, I would have been extremely lost with such crazy expectations.

 

Sir is also both my inspiration and my motivation. He encourages and supports me in everything that I wish to achieve whilst also helping to keep me grounded. I have a horrible tendency to rush into things far too quickly. I get ahead of myself and I skip vital steps which leave me very confused and usually end with me failing in what I set out to do. Every time I have thought I couldn't do something, struggled with something or even just doubted my ability to do something myself. Sir has been there to guide me, calm me down and push me forward. He has motivated me in many aspects of life, to exercise and diet, to experience new things, to stand up for myself. But even more special than that is that Sir inspires me. Through his words and his actions, he inspires me to want more from life. He strives to be the best he can be at all he does and simply being a part of his life and seeing that? Even that is enough to inspire me to want to be just as determined to succeed as what he is. When we sit and talk and I tell him my worries or what is playing on my mind, he always has some wise words of wisdom and he won't stop until something clicks for me and I can understand it. Sir has been my biggest motivation and my biggest inspiration in my whole life. He has become such a massive part of my life and an even bigger part of who I am as a person today, I will forever be grateful for the fact that he is always by my side.

 

It is thanks to Sir that I am here today, that I have become someone I can be proud of. It is because of Sir that I have learnt so much about life and about myself. I have discovered a person within me that I never knew was there before Sir came into my life. I am a better woman and better submissive because of the time, effort and copious amounts of patience that Sir has put into me over our years together. If not for Sir, I would have continued to spiral down that deep, dark rabbit hole that he found me in. So thank you Sir, for taking me in and showing me how this life was meant to be lived.

 

I cannot wait to see where our future together takes us in this journey called life.

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