Unicorns & Hunters
The elusive unicorns and their supposedly predatory hunters…
Speaking from experience, both Sir and I agree that while some of the polyamory world can be very helpful and supportive, there is also a lot of the polyamory world that can be hostile and judgemental. There is a huge stigma that a unicorn can only be a single female who is interested in being with an established couple. There is also an even bigger stigma that all couples seeking a so called unicorn, are horrible people who want nothing more than a sex slave to fix their broken marriage and enforce a whole bunch of couple privilege rules and are in general labelled as predators who prey on innocent young unicorns who don’t know any better…
Is any of this sounding familiar?
Because believe it or not, it isn’t as common as you may think.
I truly believe that this crazy stigma has stemmed from a simple problem… A lack of knowledge and a lack of openness and sincerity within the polyamory community.
Speaking from personal experience, myself and Sir cop a lot of judgement and negativity from the general polyamory community for being supposed unicorn hunters. Now, never mind the fact that I myself have been a unicorn before and actually spent 4yrs being the unicorn with Sir in a triad relationship. Back then as a unicorn and a complete triad, we had all the support and positive feedback and encouragement from the community.
Now that it is only Sir and I together and we are now seeking a unicorn of sorts, we are all of a sudden, the worst people in the world. Labelled as unicorn hunters who only want a single female as a sex toy to fix our broken relationship? Let’s rewind a little…
For starters, let’s replace the word hunters with something a little less negative like seekers. Now as unicorn seekers, we do not want a sex toy or to simply use a lovely lady for sex and nothing more, throwing her away after a single night of fun. To each their own but that is most definitely not what we are seeking. Yes, obviously sex is involved, who doesn’t love the intimacy and closeness of a sexual relationship? But it’s certainly not the be all and end all nor the main focus.
Also, our relationship is not broken! I am the first person to say I would never bring another person into our relationship and involve them in our lives if we weren’t in a good place to begin with! Involving yet another person’s wants, desires and most of all feelings, into a relationship is most definitely not going to fix something that’s already broken, if anything it’s more likely to make it worse.
So what do us unicorn seekers actually want when we are seeking that mysterious unicorn?
Respect.. Trust.. Love.. Equality.. Romance.. Intimacy.. Laughter.. Communication.. Honesty.. Loyalty..
Do any of those things sound bad to you? Predatory even? I didn’t think so.
Next time you see a couple advertising for a third or a unicorn… Don’t be so quick to judge. Don’t jump to the conclusions that they are hunters or predators wishing to pray on innocent single ladies because nine times out of ten? We are just innocent couples wanting to give more of our love to wonderful people who deserve it.